Where did we get the idea that a parent’s job is to always bail their kids out of trouble? At what point is it up to the kid to clean up their own messes? When is an individual responsible for his/her own life?
Personally, I think that consequences are an important lesson to learn from a very early age. Everything we do in life has consequences. Sir Isaac Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion asserts that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Of course Sir Isaac was referring to physical objects in motion, however, I think this can be applied to behavior too. Every behavior has a consequence.
So, who should feel the pressure of the consequences? The person doing the behavior should feel the consequences. Instead, we try to protect our kids and end up enabling their poor choices. It’s a process that usually starts with small things and can grow over time.
What is a parent to do? First of all, place the responsibility of behavior on the person doing the behavior. Do not
take the blame or credit for your child’s actions. Second, express clearly what you expect and what the consequences will be for unacceptable behavior. Third, follow through with the consequences every single time. Fourth, don’t be fooled by “I won’t do it again.” If the consequence isn’t immediate, it isn’t usually effective